Truth be told, the man on the other side of the net was intimidating.  For one thing he was a formidable presence at about 6'1" and 220 lbs.  Then there was the goatee which added to his menacing demeanor.  Plus, he could serve at 100 mph and he wasn't shy about smashing the ball at your head if you dared to hit a weak shot while he was playing up.

He was one of my opponents during the finals of the neighborhood, mixed doubles, tennis tournament held annually during the Memorial Day Weekend.  My partner and I had ripped through our bracket and now found ourselves head to head with the Goateed Goliath.

My partner was not happy.  She felt that Double G was too good to be in our division.  His serve too hard and his overhead overly enthusiastic.  She started complaining to me during the warmup.  After the first set, which we lost 6-4, she became visibly emotional and one might say that as we took our places for the second set her body posture was that of someone already defeated.

Not surprisingly, we lost the match in straight sets.  When I reviewed the match later I discovered the we actually broke Double G (won the games that he was serviing) more often than we lost.  Weird, huh?

Of course, athletic competitions are not the only place we see the perceived strength of an opponent having an effect on our own performance.  In sales, we are typically pitted against the competition for every piece of business.  When they appear unbeatable we make the mistake of adjusting our presentation and playing to their strengths.  We allow their dominant size or stature to intimidate us into self-defeating postures.

The way out of both situations is to realize that while the competition is very good, we are very good, too.  We don't have to be better than them at every aspect of the process.  We simply need to be the best at the things we already do well and execute to the best of our ability.

When we do that, the competition is forced to beat us instead of counting on us to beat ourselves.

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A friend of mine who works as a sales manager for an internet advertising firm tells me the story of two women sellers in his office.  At about 9:00 every morning the two of them can be found in the break area eating instant oatmeal and catching up on personal matters.

Neither is an exceptional performer and the sales managers think it odd that both feel comfortable taking a break before the day even gets going in earnest.  (Perhaps, I should note that they arrive at about 8:30).  He and the other sales managers refer to these sellers as "The Oatmeal Queens".

Do I even have to tell you that having a nickname that includes a type of food is poor positioning on their parts?

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The seller was excited about taking me to what she described as a "closing call".  Having been in her position myself, I have made it a point to let the seller do the selling and to be there as a resource for questions related to sales management decisions only.

Lately, though I haven't always been able to keep my promise to myself because I feel that in The New Normal none of us can afford to let opportunities slip by.

So, what happened was the seller took a wrong turn and started describing the details of our product when the details of our product were of no interest to the prospect.  I interrupted and re-directed the conversation.

Sales management has changed and now requires us to grab the wheel when an accident is imminent.  There is no longer time to crash, burn and learn.  There isn't enough business out there to use losing as an object lesson. 

If you're a seller and this happens to you, think of it as a teachable moment and not a personal affront to your style.  Understand that our current environment calls for sellers to have a thick skin.

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One of the chores required of my sixteen-year old son is to clean up the kitchen after dinner.  As my wife and I are exacting about the way the dishes are done there have been many occasions when we've required a re-do.  Normally, these requests are greeted with groans and complaints about our unnecessary fastidiousness.

Over time the chore has been done better and better until there have been occasions when it is done perfectly.  Nothing is said during these times.  The next time a pot is still greasy or the bottom of a cookie sheet is pockmarked with crumbs we are quick to point out the inadequacy.

My son complains during these times that we never say anything positive about the good work but always say something about the bad.  While acknowledging this reality, I've not given it too much thought or changed my behaviors accordingly.  In fact, I've told him to live with it.

Now that I've experienced the same type of supervision at work I've begun to appreciate my son's position.  While there may be nothing I can do about the behaviors of those who supervise me and I may have to just live with it, that doesn't mean I can't be more forthcoming with compliments of my own.  The same, of course, goes for you regardless of your role as a manager, co-worker, parent, spouse or friend. 

Just something to think about.